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I’m guilty. I inhibit the learning of my children daily. It’s not intentional and I don’t carry around guilt from it, but I’ve become aware of it and it’s time I do something about it. I’d like to share with you 9 ways we inhibit learning in our kids five and under.
1. We keep the home too clean.
How does keeping a home too clean inhibit learning? Surely it’s the other way around. And while it certainly could be, I’d like to suggest that a too-orderly home is an obstacle to learning. Let me give an example. Not too long ago we were using cotton swabs to make some aborigine dot paintings for one of our preschool lessons. I didn’t clean up our supplies right away. In fact I left them out for a few days. They were strewn all over the house and my 4 year-old got the idea to put one in a straw and blow it out. This led to hanging a target on the refrigerator door. I told him he reminded me of an Amazon hunter using a blowgun. This of course led to a YouTube video and a look at the globe. Just think of all the learning we would have missed out on if I had not been so lazy!
2. We are too hurried.
Slowing down allows children to conquer developmental milestones. We forget that putting on the coat IS the lesson in our rush to get out the door. We must include “cushion time” in our days to allow for mastery of independent skills. When we aren’t tugging on our preschoolers hand so they will walk faster or scooping our toddler into our arms so we can walk faster they have a chance to balance on the concrete parking stop, notice an insect and have the freedom to observe it, and ask questions they know will be answered. We know that learning occurs at story time at the library, but we forget that there is learning taking place every moment leading up to it. When your toddler or preschooler is slowing you down, reframe how you view these hindrances. The lesson is not the destination. The lesson is occurring right in front of us and we are missing it. Let’s slow down, mamas and give our children time to learn.
Children learn from anything and everything they see. They learn wherever they are, not just in the special learning places.
– John Holt
3. We are afraid of messes.
I’m with you. I don’t want water beads all over my kitchen floor or mud on my walls either. However, proofing our life of messes like these robs our children of vital sensory experiences- experiences that build nerve connections in the brain’s pathways that lead to completion of more complex learning tasks (source). Next time you are tempted to say “no” say “yes.” Or at least think, “How much can I say yes to?” Can you scale down a request to be more manageable? Can you move it to the bathtub? Outside? On a shower curtain? Explain beforehand your expectations and how you’ll need help cleaning up afterwards.
4. We overfill our schedules.
Not only can tight schedules cause anxiety in children, as described in Kim John Payne’s popular book, Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids (a must-read if you haven’t read it already!), but a tight schedule doesn’t leave room for downtime-an overlooked yet important piece of childhood learning. An often-quoted article entitled “The Childhood Pattern of Genius” lists three common elements among some 20 geniuses studied. One of the commonalities? They were given a maximum amount of free time to spend exploring(source). Allow space in your schedule for unrestrictive flights of creativity and deliberately craft an environment that nurtures the imagination.
5. We do too much.
In addition, to having a large amount of free time, most geniuses were given a high degree of family responsibility from a young age(source). It is so much easier as a mama to do the housework myself. Believe me! (It’s faster and it’s done right!) But when I invite my children to work with me doing such tasks as folding the dishrags, wiping the table, and transferring the laundry to the dryer it actually assists in their learning. And one day, I’ll (hopefully) be a momma of tweens and teens who play a major role in maintaining our home. I encourage you to hand over as much responsibility that is safe and developmentally appropriate to your young children. Can they do more than we are allowing them?
6. We have too many toys accessible.
I don’t know about you, but as soon as my son hit 2 he was a magnet for toys. We would show up at a yard sale and people would just hand over gallon-sized bags of toys to us. We received hand-me downs from friends, gifts from grandparents, and of course there were toys I had no idea how we got. We purged regularly, but as our family size increased, so did the toys. After several years of this toy accumulation -purge cycle there was one thing I noticed. My children are better able to participate in sustained play when there are LESS toys vying for their attention. Don’t mistake this point as an off-topic derailment about play in an write-up about learning. Play is not a break from learning. Play is learning. And when a child can give his full attention in continuous play rather than bouncing from toy to toy, more learning is achieved.
“For a small child there is no division between playing and learning; between the things he or she does ‘just for fun’ and things that are ‘educational.’ The child learns while living and any part of living that is enjoyable is also play.”– Penelope Leach
7. We provide the wrong kind of toys.
An active toy means a passive brain. A passive toy means an active brain. When a toy talks for itself it controls the route of play. Conversely a child talking for the toy develops the brain as an unrestricted storyline unfolds. This is true for any toy that requires batteries. When a toy is powered by batteries it likely is NOT powered by the imagination. I like what Joan Almon says, “A good toy is 90% child and 10% toy.”
8. We tell them the “right” way to use a tool or toy.
How often have you given a child an object (toy or tool) and demonstrated the correct use? What if instead we provide the item without an explanation and left it up to the child to determine it’s purpose? It’s likely he would come up with many unconventional uses for the object and be entertained for a longer amount of time. When we model for our children exactly how something operates or is intended to be used we unknowingly communicate “There is only one right way to use this.” Our adult minds have lost the limitless possibilities each object in our home can have. (Please note: I’m not talking about knives or any other item that should be taught correctly for safety.)
9. We keep the TV on.
You didn’t think you could get through a write-up on early childhood learning without hearing about TV, did you? We all know that the passive pastime of watching TV doesn’t aid in learning the same way reading, playing, or interacting with others does. But what about when the TV is on in the background? Although kids may not appear to be paying it any attention, background TV distracts kids from play. Young children play for less time, are less focused during play, and play in a less sophisticated way. (Could this apply to background music too? Thoughts?)
Although our actions may limit our children’s learning from time to time, the encouraging news is this- we can’t prevent them from learning. Children are hardwired to learn. Let’s do our best to provide conditions that help our children thrive.
I’m curious. Did you relate to any of the ways listed above? How do you limit your child from learning and what do you plan to do about it?
Thinking about keeping your child home for preschool? Check out our curriculum here.
Jean
Thank you for sharing this. I love how your “9 ways” give room for discovery of self and environment, as well as provides opportunities for observation and discovery of the child’s “niche.”
Kristin
This is great! As I was reading I was laughing because I kept thinking, “Oh, I’m guilty of this one” or, “Yup, my husband does that” but it was never to the same ones! So, I’m thinking if I’m doing one half and he’s doing the other, we’re really inhibiting that creative flow for the kiddos! A great reminder for everyone!
Julia
Haha! That’s a great way to think about it. God knew what he was doing when he designed the family unit! We definitely need each other!
Anitra
These are great! As an Early Childhood Educator, #6 really stands out to me. I have seen first hand how it can be good to provide choices, but not too many choices. It can be overwhelming and distracting to children.
Julia
Absolutely!
Dr. Elisha Lewis
My big takeaway from this is to have patience. It’s so easy to get caught up in the hustle-and-bustle of the day, but slowing down and allowing kids to be kids and have authentic learning experiences will greatly benefit them and you in the long run. Excellent tips!
Julia
Yes! For sure. (And patience with yourself too!) Thanks!
Elisabeth
Love this article. I unschool my boys so all of this is so right on. I love how they can learn at their own pace. It has slowed me down a lot and I actually enjoy it.
I think where we have hindered is having too many toys. I am diligently working on this. I have put toys away and plan to give away the rest.
Julia
So I have a trick about this. I have an opaque storage bin in the closet. I occasionally put toys in there, usually the cheep, broken, promotional freebies, or just ones I think have less play value. If a child doesn’t ask for it for a while, it gets moved from the out-of-sight opaque bin to a donate box that goes straight to my husband’s truck for him to drop off on his way to work!
Beth
I enjoyed this very much – it’s well written and clear. I’m grandma to a 10-month-old and am happy to say my daughter-in-law is pretty much in synch with your suggestions. Of course things will get interesting once my grandson can ask for something specific to play with! Thanks.
Colleen
LOVE this! I would add one thing to the list.. .give them worksheets to try and teach them. This is some of the best advice for parents of preschoolers I have seen. Awesome job.
Mariah French
This is so useful to me! My son is two and has an overload of toys that I’m constantly trying to donate or even just keep in their boxes. I think I need to remember that some toys are okay and that not everything should be clean all the time.